I think with this I make Freud look normal

I had a dream last night. Actually a cat had a dream last night. The menace has had the same dream for a while now. While he has it he purrs. A LOT AND LOUD. He doesn't say much but I know what he dreams. And no, he doesn't dream of a gender change you freak. He dreams for longcat. He wants to be longcat. For obvious reasons.

The power of the mind

It's frightening what our brains can do. I often get bored at night and the TV isn't a reprieve from the doldrums. That doesn't stop me from watching it. I was watching what Hollywood passes off as science. Ghost and unconfirmed accounts of the supernatural were the subject of this shockumentary, but frankly I couldn't really be scared. I sat there thinking,

"What is so damn scary about faucets turning on by themselves, or see-through people standing there? Just standing there. Doing nothing. No laughter. Dancing. Hell, it just yawned that is how goddamn mundane it is. Where is the menace, malice, and other words that begin with the letter M? All these producers can manage is flying crap and some shock value."
At this point, I was lost in thought and noticed something moving below me. A head suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I proceeded to wet myself. Well not so much myself as my friend. She was asking if I was ok, but I am not sure if she got the answer she was looking for, but I do know I am never going to get oral again from her.


(The veracity of this anecdote might be somewhere around 1 - 2 % which is the percentage of the remaining standing biomass that is left to make toilet paper.)

****I might be making that up too.****
####This is me telling you that your ass is too fat\!####
My God! Stop reading this.

More messing with Photos

I am not much for explaining things today.
Read this first.
Look at these images after.
Have a good laugh.
Repeat.

It is truly a revolution in gaming.

Yes, I am talking about the Nintendo Revolution. This is the culmination of the company's goal to reach out and broaden their demographic. In doing so, it will answer the prayers of Shigeru Miyamoto (and his bloated and overgrown money-making company) and all male gamers everywhere with women. That's right. Nintendo is now targeting the other 50% that was so sorely ignored for the past 20 something odd years and makes nights gamers spend going solo.... will be... possibly... maybe less... likely. This is all thanks to them thinking outside the box and making… well using a pre-existing unconventional design for the controller. In my eyes, this is risky move for the company. I am sure they are going to end up with hot coffee in their lap before this is over. As for male gamers, I am sure this is going jump start ... something. Not to mention the question if women are even willing to ride on the edge of their seat near a bunch of gamers. As for me, I am going to get one. Why? I think you don't have to ask, you already know Toki.

Hiatus

Taking a break. No news for you.

Respect

Here it is for you furries. You guys don't get any respect. So I am going to try to make your, collective, day. Arcdragnbreth, Asterix, Bahamut, firedrgnx, and Sephy you shouldn't be ashamed for liking animalistic-people or humanistic beasts as character. To make it up to you a trip to the photo archives. I think tits are appropriate for this occasion.
Show us your tits babe!

Speaking of Sex

Two individuals I have had the unfortunate pleasure of making the acquaintance of have opened up the Gates of Hell, i.e. more British teen angst. They have revealed a more sensual and disgusting side of witchcraft; and I think wicca too. They have shown the world, and it's worse off for it, to be witchy is to be sexy. The witcher, the better. (Penny Arcade has no need to sue, I acknowledge it's your joke.) From its roots as a bunch of women prancing in a forest and getting hot and sweaty at the stake, to its wider appeal today ranging from those with no assertiveness to namely Harry Potter, it's always about the sex.

Now, I know most of you are going to scoff at me and just call me a loon, but I do have proof. Here it is: Harry Potter's Broomstick. Why didn't Mattel just call it "Happy Harry's Magical Wooden Ride"?
(There are other links, but use google for it damn it.)

Now if I still have the ability to connect the dots, I think witches have suffered unfairly for a simple misunderstanding. Flying on broomsticks? Wrong! They were just expressing their sexuality. Since female satisfaction wasn't invented yet, they were just making a euphemism with they midnight flights into the grassy plains.

Riding a broom to fly dear? Well make sure you ride the mop next. You are standing in a nasty puddle there. God forbid I slip on it and you start riding me to get up high.

So you see "witches" invented dildos and vibrator.

The burning at the stake? Well, let's just say... men aren't that dense. They saw how much fun the womenfolk had and wanted to see what the fuss was about. Needless to say it didn't end well. For either of them. Rest in peace Prince Edward.