The power of the mind

It's frightening what our brains can do. I often get bored at night and the TV isn't a reprieve from the doldrums. That doesn't stop me from watching it. I was watching what Hollywood passes off as science. Ghost and unconfirmed accounts of the supernatural were the subject of this shockumentary, but frankly I couldn't really be scared. I sat there thinking,

"What is so damn scary about faucets turning on by themselves, or see-through people standing there? Just standing there. Doing nothing. No laughter. Dancing. Hell, it just yawned that is how goddamn mundane it is. Where is the menace, malice, and other words that begin with the letter M? All these producers can manage is flying crap and some shock value."
At this point, I was lost in thought and noticed something moving below me. A head suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I proceeded to wet myself. Well not so much myself as my friend. She was asking if I was ok, but I am not sure if she got the answer she was looking for, but I do know I am never going to get oral again from her.


(The veracity of this anecdote might be somewhere around 1 - 2 % which is the percentage of the remaining standing biomass that is left to make toilet paper.)

****I might be making that up too.****
####This is me telling you that your ass is too fat\!####
My God! Stop reading this.