Now on the battlelines

To complete the fall of admins, Grey has come down with a mysterious strain of Ebola. It is presumed that he was infected with the virus during the "Ape Snake mission". It is unknown how he contracted the disease in the jungle or whether or not if anyone else is in danger. In quarantine when he finally regained consciousness, we were able to speak with him about his monkey-catching mission. "They just sit there with their stupid grins and when you think you got them, their stupid lights turn red and then they go berserk!" he said. "Their arms; they flail them like a pinwheel. There is no way a grown man three times their size could stand up to that!" he said as the terror began to reveal itself in his voice. Regaining his composure, we asked how he survived out in the jungle for so long. "It was hard. There was nothing but snakes and rats. Milk snakes taste awful. I had to survive off the meat of European grey rats." Apparently he is not only is he a snake eater, but also a cannibal. His only regret in this mission was that, "I wished I got rid of this damn mullet."


In other war-time news "Operation Dew Drop" failed miserably. In an attempt to gain more intelligence on the nebulous unibx, the group known as the Drink Tank invited ... it, for the lack of better words, out of a drink. Several attempts were made to get him/her to join in on trying to drink each other under the table. They all failed. What a pansy. It was settled then that unibx would be drinking sodas, lime juice, and the blood of virgin women, good luck with that last one, while the rest of them got wasted. While those lime-encrusted veterans of the bar lived it up, a person, who we shall call Kat, remained sober and DID HER JOB. The Drink Tank and unibx returned to RPGR after they spent well over 10 Euros, which is the equivalent to $1,000,000, where all but unibx passed out immediately. He/she then thanked Kat for all the free drinks and told her that she was looking a little pail, wiping off the trail of blood running down her hand and then licking it *insert disturbed emoticon here*. This is when, "Operation Dew Drop" went in to full swing. She/he then announced that he/she needed to use the bathroom. An operative was standing in wait to uncover the truth about unibx. Unfortunately, she/he was one step ahead. Instead, unibx walked past both the men's room and women's room and went straight into the breakroom. And did their ungendered deed on the breakroom table. Yes, the table. The very same table we all have/had sex on. And gotten a terrible rash from.